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Skepness Man Beauregarde
Not to be confused with a monster named "Skepness Man" from ''Invader Zim: Born Again Christian.'' Skepness Man Beauregarde is one of the main characters of Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host. Originally introduced as a chronomad who is consistently interviewing the characters, Skepness Man is spotted and "adopted" by Violet Beauregarde, and proceeds to go to Portal High School, there meeting and falling in love with Chell Junor Roberts. Biography Skepness Man is the child of Skepkitty and Principal Business Man. In THE MARRISSA GAMES, it is mentioned that Skepkitty and Business Man eventually divorced and that Business Man, angry that he still has to pay Skepkitty child supplement, deliberately designed Marrissa Roberts to look like the girl on fire, as a "take that" on Skepkitty and falmer trollz in general. He appears once again in THE MARRISSA GAMES, where he witnesses Skepkitty blow up and almost immediately after that is blown up himself, but is resurrected by Marrissa and it's presumed that Business Man takes care of him. In AG 2182, Skepness Man was called by Abraman Linkan to the 413th falmer Hunger Games. During the games, he found a BC Corp sendificator and reverse-engineered it, converting it into a time travel watch. By time-travelling to the past and then to the future, Skepness Man appeared on the organizational HQ of the falmer Hunger Games and killed all the organizers, and took off to the very earliest moment of the Marrissaverse, where he came up with the system Anno Glorii. After spending a good deal of time in the earliest moments, Skepness Man, having fully established his goals as a "chronomad", began his adventures. They took him to all the major epochs of the Marrissaverse, where, on a few separate occasions, he met the characters of Spectators of the Host. Also, during his trips, he played Sburb Alpha, taking him to an alternate universe, where he learned French and perfected his English. This knowledge allowed him to write Enchiridion Marrissa. After an elongated sequence of time travels, in his favorite epoch, Portal High School ca. AG 1980, Skepness Man was found by Skepkitty, who announced to him and Business Man that he is now a guy. Distraught, Skepness Man was contacted by "harmlessExcellence" (later revealed as Violet Beauregarde), who took him to her own house in Tbilisi, Georgia, where they proceeded to live and Skepness Man was officially admitted to Portal High School. Portal High School changed Skepness Man greatly. He became a "fully realized goth emo" and when he started another novel, Additional Discoveries on Marrissaverse History, his writing style became "morbid and existential". On Portal High School, Skepness Man also first met Chell Junor Roberts. Knowing that she is a powerful human, he ran away as fast as he could. Aranna Sorket proceeded to comfort him. She was also largely involved in getting Skepness Man and Chell Junor to consider the fact that they love each other, which resulted in their wedding at the end of Spectators of the Host. As well as that, Skepness Man and Chell Junor took over Violet's company, Beauregarde Chewing Gum Industry. ASBusinessMagnet has revealed that their children are named Violet Beauregarde, Jr. and Charlie Roberts. It is also known that Skepness Man and Chell Junor, through Charlie, are the distant ancestors of Janet Roberts and Jack London. Alternate universe / Skepness Man Lettuce The fuck is a Beauregarde? What are you trolling me with? I ''very clearly work with these two people.'' :- Skepness Man Lettuce In an alternate universe, Skepness Man had not been spotted by Violet. Instead, he was spotted by Robot and Roslalonde Lettuce and decided to become affiliated with them, henceforth becoming "Skepness Man Lettuce". This also meant that he never entered a relationship with Chell Junor, and thus Janet and Jack no longer exist. This version of Skepness Man appears to be much colder. It is likely that this version of Skepness Man appears in HARRY POTTER AN THE KILL OF SNAPE, as the author's note for chapter seven of the story states the name "Skepness Man Lettuce". Robot and Roslalonde are using him as an agent, rather than doing the dirty work themselves, and often get mad when he does not do the job as planned. He owns a jetpack with which he can travel around space and time, but runs out of fuel for it in London. Therefore, he and Jenny Weasley have to work to get the money for a train ticket to Hogwarts, and in the meantime end up having sex, which leads to Skepkitty being born to Jenny. Then, though, he admits that he already knows who his true love is, and Gobo Fraggle uses a spell on him, transporting him to a yet unspecified point in time. He comes back to save Jenny from Gobo, and leaves once again, thus implying that he will continue to travel in time, unlike his counterpart. His true love has been deliberately left ambiguous, even though Insane Guy of DOOM had intended for it to be Chell Junor, contradicting the premise of the timeline. Trivia *In earlier versions of his biography, Skepness Man claimed to have written three works of fiction, known as "Portal: The Fourth-World", "Įstrigę of the Learned" and "The Haunted Herbert". Their names are amalgamations of the names of various works by ASBusinessMagnet, Skepkitty, Rose Lalonde and Roxy Lalonde, namely the Portal: The 4th Millennium franchise, The Half-World, "Įstrigę namuose" lietuviškas vertimas, Complacency of the Learned, The Haunted City and Wizardy Herbert. However, when he actually writes several documentaries, he drops this claim. *In Additional Discoveries, it is revealed that in his Sburb Alpha session, he is a Prospit/"Prophet" dreamer. In addition, in Parody of a Parade, it is hinted that he is the Heir of Light. *In the MarrissaTheWriter Complete Anthology, Skepness Man is mentioned by ASBusinessMagnet as her favorite original MarissaTheWriter character, seeing as he "represents what I never got to be". Appearances *''THE MARRISSA GAMES'' (First appearance) *''Post-SCrash Session 2: The Belorussian Aliens'' (Mentioned only) *''Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host'' (First named "Skepness Man Beauregarde") *''Post-SCrash Session 4: Parody of a Parade'' *''HARRY POTTER AN THE KILL OF SNAPE'' (First appears as "Skepness Man Lettuce") *''Marrissaverse Stories 2015'' As the author *''Enchiridion Marrissa'' *''Additional Discoveries on Marrissaverse History'' Gallery Skepness_man_signature.png|His signature, as seen in Additional Discoveries. Category:Characters Category:Ambiguously affiliated characters Category:Characters original to Marrissa